Heaven’s First Birthday

Heaven is One today!!! 

One year ago our dreams came true as we finally met our beautiful Anike Eden!

I have always been more of a forward-thinking person, I like to move on from what’s “old” and on to what’s “new”. However, this journey has taught me the value of remembering, counting and appreciating God’s blessings. 

Exactly a year ago, I posted the first blog on Heaven Is Here because I made a pact with God to share my journey as fully as I can. I had a scheduled C Section that day so I scheduled the blog post to go live ahead of time so I wouldn’t forget to do it in the midst of the excitement and the aftermath of major surgery. 

I also didn’t want to be discouraged by the Nigerian part of me that constantly says I shouldn’t share so much about my life. Our culture doesn’t exactly encourage sharing intimate details of one’s life for good reason, but it was for that exact reason I needed to be honest and open about my journey because I learned how important it was to have a support system as I realized so many women experienced infertility in silence. 

This act of remembering has made me more aware of how blessed I am and has helped me be more grateful for where I am. 

So in the spirit of remembering, let me list out some key moments as far back as I can go:

– In 2005, I found out I had fibroids at the age of 24

– In 2007, I had my first myomectomy after trying everything from Homeopathic treatments to Accupuncture to shrink the fibroids. At that point I had several fibroids with the largest being about 16 cm. I had heavy periods, severe anaemia, back pain from the posterior fibroid and abdominal pain. 

– That myomectomy also saved me from experiencing the pain of appendicitis as the doctor’s noticed a problem with my appendix and performed an appendectomy during the surgery. Two for one surgery!

– After that I basically lived my life like I didn’t have a care in the world about fibroids or potential infertility. However, I made sure I got an ultrasound done every 6 months. As time passed, more and more fibroids popped up. 

– I got married in the middle of all that in 2011. My husband met me in 2007 shortly after my first myomectomy, in fact I still had bandages from the incision as I had some complications after surgery. This is important but at the time I didn’t appreciate the fact that a lot of men would run the opposite direction if they suspected a woman they were interested in has a medical condition that could lead to infertility. 

– In 2014, after a few years of marriage we were faced with the difficult decision of having a second myomectomy or start trying to have a baby. We chose to have the second myomectomy because I had developed several fibroids and some were quite large. 

– During the second myomectomy my OBGYN noticed my Fallopian tubes were stuck on other organs from all the scar tissues I had developed from the first surgery. Apparently, I had so much scar tissue, they needed to have a specialist get through the scar tissue before they could even start working on my uterus. 

– I woke up from surgery to find that they successfully removed the fibroids but that my Fallopian tubes might be blocked. I was devastated. 

– later that summer I confirmed through a fertility clinic that my tubes were in fact blocked and that was the moment that triggered the need for me to seek counseling. 

– later that year, I had my first fertility consultation and had another small procedure to remove yet another fibroid that was pushing into the wall of the lining in my uterus. The fertility doctor didn’t want any issues with implantation. He also tried to “unblock” the tubes but was unsuccessful.

– So in 2015, I started fertility treatments for IVF. First starting with stimulation of ovaries to extract eggs and then fertilization of the eggs to create embryos. We were fortunate to have a few viable embryos which we froze. 

– In the spring of 2015, doctors transferred 2 embryos and I became pregnant with TWINS! I was truly over the moon and gush I was glowing. I was like this is what the scripture about God returning to me double was all about. 

– Then I had a miscarriage (second part of the trimester). Miscarriages don’t just happen suddenly in one day for some people. I had a bleed that basically overtook my babies.  We got to hear one of the heartbeats but so sadly, we lost both babies. The feelings of those moments during those weeks still overtake me. It was like a million dreams dying all at once. I sought counseling to help me heal. 

– Later that year, we tried again. This time with one embryo. I got pregnant and lil baby Chanel stuck with me all the way to 37 weeks and three days. Every one of those days  when I woke up and I wasn’t bleeding or I could feel her, I burst out in thanks to God. I was the happiest preggo lady. I was just happy for every single day. I didn’t have one speck of blood during my entire pregnancy, I thank God for sparing me from that ordeal. 

So, after all that, we welcomed our beautiful daughter and words cannot describe the joy and the gratitude we felt for a healthy baby. 

In this past year, this wonderful gift we have has brought us so much joy. I don’t mean to minimize the difficulty of motherhood or parenthood, but I always remembered that so many women would love to swap sleepless nights with me. It’s ok to feel exhausted and be able to say I’m tired but I would always say I was happily exhausted. I mean I have been very tired for a long time but I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

So here we are, one year into this beautiful new phase of our journey and loving it! As I said earlier, it’s easier to just move on and stay in this lovely place and it is so wonderful to be on the other side of that tunnel. I just want to encourage someone who is in the middle of their own difficulty fertility journey and trying to hold on tight. I hope this sheds a little more light at the end of that tunnel to look forward to. 

“But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

‭‭Lamentations‬ ‭3:21-23‬ ‭ESV‬‬

http://bible.com/59/lam.3.21-23.esv